Wednesday, February 20, 2008

some kind of fog

like a damp blanket

I told you they were teaser days. Yesterday the sky was a wet wool blanket, the precipitation practically clinging to the surface in tiny, spitty balls. I love the Northwest. I love the loamy smell and the moist air and the softness of the colors. It suits me. We moved back here, in part, because the climate and the geography resonate with us like no other.

But here's the thing. . . I grew up in the desert. I come from people who grew up in the desert. I spent my formative years, scorched and freckled, running barefoot over hot sand. I'm starting to think maybe this means something. As in, it just occurred to me just right now, oh, ten minutes ago, to wonder if while my disposition is surely suited to this place, my physiology might expect something quite different.

My recent yearly check-up exam revealed a "tragically low" (her words, not mine) Vitamin D deficiency. Couple this with more rushing white noise in my head than normal and the most formidable Ennui opponent I've yet to face (okay, there I am, using that silly word again, without a lick of irony) and the knowledge that, though I didn't ever really hit it off with Arizona, I never felt this way there, well. . . when I say I'm duplicitous, I'm not speaking lightly. It's indisputable that some chemical reactions are askew within. The question is whether or not this could have anything to do with my body determining a set point, expecting a certain level of sunlight, from having lived my first twenty years in the Southwest or not. It sounds plausible.

The plan is to be more mindful with my diet, fine tune my supplements, wait for Spring, and see what happens. But in the meantime, I am still appreciative of the gray and the rain that feeds the soil and makes this place I love. I like the variety, the knowing that in a few months, the fog will lift and the skies will be reliably, if not constantly, clear.


Lisa said...

This is a very interesting question to pose and if it had any truth to it, it might affect me similarly, being also of desert folk and growing up in desert area until I was 21 years old. Hmm.

Angelina said...

I don't know, there might be something in the whole vitamin deficiency but I think the ennui is more symptomatic of the really challenging time you had prior to settling into your house. You went through a lot. Not only that, but there are physiological brain issues that can also produce hard to shake listlessness. It's possible that the vitamin deficiency has made your brain have to work a lot harder than normal.

However, if there is something more climatic in it, then there are certainly things you can do in addition to more mindful eating and supplements- you can make sure you have some lights in your house that are useful for people with S.A.D.

Angie said...

your pictures are terrific and so is your writing!