warts and all

I'm sure you love me just the way I am. I, however, have been less than fond of the pesky lump on my wrist for some time. Now it's small, nothing anyone would probably notice. But it would itch sometimes and I'd see it and feel chagrined. Stupid wart, killing my chances as a wristwatch model. What to do? (this is so simple and unbelievable and effective and simple it's going to blow your mind a little).

Don't worry, while this is a home remedy anyone can do, this is not the wart removal technique I heard growing up. My great-grandmother legendarily instructed the afflicted individual to take a kernel of corn, rub it on the wart, look out into the yard and mentally choose a chicken, toss the corn into the yard, and if the chosen chicken ate the corn - voila! Bob's your uncle, the wart is gone!

But say you're low on chickens or superstitions? Then what?

You pluck a dandelion. Squeeze the stem. Spread the milky juice on your wart. Okay, wait. Back up. It helps to have a cute little fella in overalls and rainboots pick your dandelion.

This is what my wrist looked like before I smeared any dandelion milk on it at all. It's a little red and, though the picture isn't wonderfully clear, definitely raised.

My intent was to take a picture every day, but I forgot and that's kind of boring anyway. A picture of my wrist every day? hah-shoo, hah-shoo. Also, I neglected to apply the dandelion milk again for a few days. After the first application, the wart skin got dark and scabby. I really should have taken a picture of that, but it's probably for the better that I didn't. For your sake, anyway. And then the scabby came off in a shower and the area was no longer raised. I have only bothered to put the dandelion milk on one more time.

And now it looks like this:

There's a shiny dot of fresh, happy skin now! Could anything be cheaper, easier, less invasive?!

I can't remember where I picked this up, but I do remember it's something we did to effectively remove a wart on the husband's hand years ago and I remember taking family walks and the girl would pluck dandelions and rub them on her hand, too, just like her dad. She was about 2 then, so I guess this has been in our home remedy arsenal since then, 8 years or so. We've used it numerous times.

Not that we're a particularly warty bunch.