Wednesday, December 17, 2008

to whom it may concern

If you're the regularly dropping-by here sort, you might have seen the Dark and Dreary I had up for a few days. I pulled it down, though, because in an atypical re-read (which is to say, generally, what I write is off the cuff and I tend to forget about it later), I realized that I was attempting, not so successfully, to explain myself from beneath a cloud Desperation and my point was smudged and lacking.

The point is this: my husband's losing his job. This was to be his last full week at work, but, local weather being what it is (ice and snow and wind, oh my!) his hours are exceedingly numbered.

We are not in a unique situation, obviously. My worry, my uncertainty, my stalwart resolution to still, somehow, make this holiday season as sweet as it can be for my children, is the way it is for so many people this year. Times are rough. Times might get more rough.

I don't know how it's going to work, not any of it.

Not for me, not for you, not for our whole planet on the brink of something so completely unknown.

But, this is what I do know:
I know many hands make light work. I know I'm not alone.

I was feeling so low and slow and isolated, this morning, the whole last week. We suited up, the four of us, and tromped up to the hotel/restaurant/pub up the way for breakfast. For a change of pace, for something to do, for the reliable internet access. We'd been saving an old gift card for a snowy day, I guess. A gift card we got once when the restaurant had a problem with our order and gave us a card to compensate. It seemed like a good morning to break it out. We needed something.

We needed to come home and be reminded that people care. That even though I'm no good at sharing myself, at being available and vulnerable, that people still care.

I am humbled by the kindness of friends who know we're treading our way through rough waters and don't want us to sink under.

My world is a bit less bleak right now.
It's not the coffee in my belly or the fire crackling across the room or the magical white wonderland outside, it's knowing that I have enough stores to tread along for some time. It's trite to say we're all in this together, but it's true. And a little encouragement from friends can be just the boost you need.

I can navigate the space between Now and the New Year and be ready to hit the real work of What To Do Next without being so exhausted. I am humbled and grateful and glad for such kind gestures. Thank you.


Angelina said...

Wow, I was checking your blog almost every day, then because there had been nothing for so long I looked away for maybe a day or two and MISSED SOMETHING IMPORTANT?!


Well, that truly sucks in that everything for you is now completely uncertain. And scary. Lord knows it's what we've been facing for so long now I feel a little dulled to it.

And yet as things get a little darker over in your corner I am seeing the first light I've had for over a year.

How strange is life!

Well obviously I'm going to keep fingers crossed that Brian finds something else soon. Maybe something he doesn't hate? A new beginning?

Blogging Molly said...

you have been on my mind this week - i read your dark and dreary post sunday night and my heart sank. i thought how in the world can we all be wrapped up in merriment when so many are living in uncertainty.

glad to hear a breakfast out freshened your perspective (and it sounds to me like you visited a mcmenamins establishment).